Woke up sick

I woke up feeling sick today.

It started with my guts expressing their displeasure with the shit that I can’t seem to stop eating despite how bad it is for me. Despite knowing how good I could feel. My willpower (and perhaps even my will to live) feels drained by the events of my life and those of the world at large.

I woke up feeling sick today.

The sickness in my body mirrors the sickness in my heart. The assault is endless. I am haunted by the specters of conversations half remembered or left unsaid, of trust lost, of the feeling of distance where once there was only closeness.

I woke up feeling sick today.

The sickness in my heart spills into my soul. An attempt to help build stronger bridges is met with hostility, making me question again the feasibility of true unity. Another seemingly gentle soul is outed as an abuser, ending a friendship before it began. More reasons to trust dissolve in my hands and slip through my fingers.

I woke up feeling sick today.

I don’t think I’m going to feel better anytime soon.