I’m not dead

Hey everyone! I’m not dead.

That might seem like a weird way to start out a blog post (and it probably is) but this is 2021 in America during the COVID pandemic where things are now much worse than they were last year at this time. Hospitals are full again despite so many people being vaccinated. I could blame the unvaccinated zealots in America for this but the truth is that the problem goes so much deeper than those particular idiots. There’s so much of how Western society is built that makes us vulnerable to a disease like this. Makes me wonder how many blogs actually are abandoned out there because their author became suddenly ill and never recovered. How many personal stories are there that just stop in the middle of a personal narrative, never to be brought to a satisfying conclusion?

This is not me trivializing the impact of this disease my any means. I know some people might be out there saying “Why are you thinking about blogs and stories when there are real people dying out there? Aren’t the people themselves more important than the stories?” And yes, absolutely they are more important. But abandoned stories are like abandoned places. Everywhere we go, we leave an imprint of who we are and there’s so much information in those imprints about who a person is that we might never understand from simply being around them. People are not just individuals within their bodies but consist of every single mark that they leave upon this earth, both good and bad. Being a writer and content creator myself, I naturally think of people’s creative contributions to this world and because I often think about my own story being cut short I think of the stories of others, especially the stories that will never have any sort of conclusion; no explanation of what happened to the author, doomed to just fade into eternity.

Yikes, that got quite existential and dramatic.

Anyway, what I was originally going to say is that I recognize that I have not posted in a while but I am okay. I know I don’t owe anyone an apology or an explanation but I want to share a little bit into my life since I’ve been withdrawn for quite a while for a number of reasons.

I am in the middle of going through a divorce.

I am not going to go into detail about the situation around the divorce for reasons both practical and legal but it’s not a great time. I’m not saying that anyone is making it a bad time for me – please don’t read into that – but the process of divorce itself is emotionally and mentally taxing and I’m personally having a lot of problems with it. I’m feeling super burnt out just like I did when I was at GitHub and I’m having a lot of difficulty doing both the things that I need to do like performing at work and taking care of myself or that I want to do like gardening, writing in my blog, or creating videos for YouTube.

So I just wanted to take a quick moment to say that I have not forgotten about this space or my other projects but my updates might be fairly infrequent at this time. I appreciate you all bearing with me while I figure all of this out and can start to plan out what’s next.

In good news, Ashe and I are brainstorming future projects and they have agreed to collaborate with me a bit more officially. I have no idea what those projects are going to be yet but I’m really excited to put something new out there into the world when I’ve recovered a bit.

Until next time, stay safe out there. The pandemic is real bad, y’all.